THE PEACE OF FORGIVENESS
“Whoever would foster love covers over an offense.” Proverbs 17:9
Due to our fallen natures, we rarely ignore someone’s attack on our emotions, hearts, or bodies. It’s our knee-jerk reaction to retaliate, but God’s ways are not our ways. He is unbiased and His judgment is always for our good.
Matthew 5: 23-24 says: “If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” God will not accept your gifts of benevolence, ministry, time or money if you approach the altar with a heart filled with animosity. Though this scripture discusses one person having an issue with you, not the other way around, it can apply in both instances.
Forgiveness is a decision. It’s easy to build a mountain of anger and resentment, but when you make up your mind to exonerate your offender, it’s the first step in flattening that mountain.
The next step is to pray for your transgressor. It’s difficult to beseech heaven for blessings for the one who hurt you while simultaneously begging for his or her condemnation.
Then consider the individual’s circumstances. If you’re fighting a battle to forgive your friend for the ugly things she said to you, consider what war she may be contending with. What if your friend just received a serious medical diagnosis? What if she hadn’t had a chance to process it, much less share it with anyone? What if she worries about who will care for her three children during her hospitalization and recovery? And how is this going to affect her marriage and finances, both of which were falling apart?
Caught in a hurricane of your whirling thoughts, can you not excuse her outburst just because you pointed out she should park in a different space when she takes her turn picking up hers and your own children at school?
Walk a while…
Walk a mile…
In her painful, worn-out shoes.
We won’t always know why a friend or loved one stabbed our hearts with their verbal swords and we won’t always understand. Our job is to move past them.
Jesus knows why each of us reacted in the heat of the moment and He always forgives if we ask him. Matthew 18:22 says: “The Savior answered him, “I tell you, not just seven times, but seventy times seven”. The Lord of lords didn’t just say the words; He lived them. Those who said they loved Him most abandoned and betrayed Him in His time of need. Still, He forgave them, just like He instructed us to do.
The Father is serious about our harboring no grudges. Micah 7:19 reads: “You will again have compassion on us… and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.” The deepest part of the ocean is the Challenger Deep in the western Pacific Ocean in the southern end of the Mariana Trench, which is southwest of Guam. Earth’s seabed boasts its deepest known point, reaching a depth of 36,200 feet (over six miles). It’s far deeper than Mount Everest is tall. How vast is His forgiveness!
But the most difficult thing to make allowances for may be your own actions. You assign yourself as judge and jury, find the defendant guilty, and sentence yourself to a lifetime of misery. You can’t forget that reckless thing you did back in high school when your friends took the blame for what you did; for the vicious words you silently screamed behind your mother’s back; that selfish act that almost destroyed your marriage and your family. Yet, you still remember when someone pardoned your lapse in judgment and the sigh of relief when that heavy weight was lifted off you.
You may have head knowledge of what mercy is, but not the heart of it. 1 John 3:20: “…for whenever your heart condemns you, God is greater than the heart, and he knows everything.” God holds the key to unlock that door of self-imposed imprisonment and encourages you to accept His freedom from whatever damaged you. When you lose your stranglehold on unforgiveness, you release the anger and pain seeded from pride and ego.
What if you received news today that a family member who hurt you was seriously injured in an accident? Would you decide that person “had it coming”? Or would you remember the good times, your close relationship, the past love of family when you shared laughter and tears. Would you pray for that person connected to you by blood?
That individual may never admit to doing anything wrong. In their eyes, maybe they didn’t. Yet when you make the commitment to absolve them, it can restore your joy and contentment. You can breathe again. No longer will anger disturb you with night visions of the injustice of the offender’s words or action, fill your waking hours with anxiety, and distance you from those who should be closest to you. It can restore your physical, emotional and spiritual wellness. It breaks the chain shackling you to the past.
Jesus did not ask us to psychoanalyze the offender nor cross-examine his or her motives. He asked us only to forgive them.
Will it be easy? No.
Will it be worth it? Absolutely.
When we do this, we stand to lose a great deal: stress, bitterness and guilt.
But we gain so much more:
His harmony.
His love.
His peace.
by Elaine Hall
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